It is reasonable to avoid hurt after such a big betrayal, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, but don't mistake isolation for safety

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I was in a relationship for 26 years, married for 17, and my husband had an affair. It was hidden, long term and denied until discovery. I divorced him but that was delayed and I had to live with him for a further two years. I spent a year alone in my new house with my now adult sons. Now I am a little over a year into a new relationship and suddenly panicking about it. I'm scared to go forward. I'm not sure I can commit to long term again, and if I see him looking at other women (we work together in a predominantly female workplace), I panic! I'm older than him by nine years and I feel like I want to end things to prevent getting hurt. But then I feel I'm being cowardly. How can I stop going down this road in my head?

Eleanor says: On behalf of everyone everywhere, let me say: what a schmuck thing for your husband to do. That is such a big betrayal. And the cruelty you're living through now is that as well as teaching you to be mistrustful of others, betrayal on that magnitude teaches you to be unsure of yourself. If I misread things once …

Andreas Graf lived without screens and no idea of the date or time. The conditions were often brutal - but he found kindness and friendship as he rode

In April 2022, Andreas Graf set off on his bike from his home in Norway. His dream was to cycle to India. A week later, having reached Sweden, it was already becoming more of a nightmare. "It was pouring with rain and I was lying in my tent in my half-wet sleeping bag and I was like, I could be in my very cosy Oslo apartment," he says. "I had this good life, a career, a partner, and I had left everything behind."

He was 31. Friends were settling down. Graf had a well-paid job in industrial engineering, but was still renting in a houseshare. "I had started to think about whether to make a financially reasonable and sensible decision, or do something else. I went for option two."

Dry air indoors can cause an inflammatory reaction, yet so can cold, windy outdoor conditions - but turning down the heating and using a moisturising cream can help

'This is kind of true," says consultant dermatologist Dr Emma Craythorne. Human skin has evolved to retain water, thanks to a protective barrier on its surface. But that barrier isn't totally watertight. Water is constantly moving across it, depending on the humidity of the surrounding air.

Skin tends to be most comfortable at a relative humidity of about 40%. When the air around us is drier than that, water is more likely to leave the skin. That matters because the process of water escaping across the skin barrier is mildly inflammatory.

The hit podcaster, author and former GP says a failure to regulate big tech is 'failing a generation of children'. He explains why he quit the NHS and why he wants a ban on screen-based homework

A 16-year-old boy and his mum went to see their GP, Dr Rangan Chatterjee, on a busy Monday afternoon. That weekend, the boy had been at A&E after an attempt at self-harm, and in his notes the hospital doctor had recommended the teenager be prescribed antidepressants. "I thought: 'Wait a minute, I can't just start a 16-year-old on antidepressants,'" says Chatterjee. He wanted to understand what was going on in the boy's life.

They talked for a while, and Chatterjee asked him about his screen use, which turned out to be high. "I said: 'I think your screen use, particularly in the evenings, might be impacting your mental wellbeing.'" Chatterjee helped the boy and his mother set up a routine where digital devices and social media went off an hour before bed, gradually extending the screen-free period over six weeks. After two months, he says the boy stopped needing to see him. A few months after that, his mother wrote Chatterjee a note to say her son had been transformed - he was engaging with his friends and trying new activities. He was, she said, like a different boy from the one who had ended up in hospital.

The long-running series in which readers answer other readers' questions ponders how to overcome fear and do what is needed

This week's question: what would be the most socially useful way to spend a billion dollars?

Is it possible to acquire courage if you don't have it? I was moved by the recent story of the Australian boy who swam to land for several hours in rough waters to raise the alarm that his mother and siblings had been swept out to sea. Despite his exhaustion, he then ran several kilometres to find a phone.

But I'm also thinking of the lesser demands for courage - such as standing up to a friend, or family member, or tackling a company that's ignoring your polite requests when you're suffering from its actions. Or I also wonder how people do certain jobs that, to me, require buckets of courage: starting a business or any other sort of professional risk-taking; reporting from a war zone like Lyse Doucet or Jeremy Bowen. Or just being a police officer knocking on the door of a suspect and not knowing what is on the other side.

He didn't look like a stereotypical 'drug addict', but when he fled to South Africa with all our savings it was obvious that is what he had become

When I tell people that a drug addiction nearly killed my dad, I know what most of them are thinking. Heroin. Crack. Maybe meth or ket. Those substances that steal your soul and slowly wreak havoc on your body. They're imagining Trainspotting; too-skinny frames and protruding hip bones, the physical effects of addiction that are impossible to miss.

But that isn't how it played out in my family.

Does it only affect weak people? Is work always the cause? Burnout myths, busted by the experts

Once, after surviving yet another round of redundancies in a former job, I did something very odd. I turned off the lights in my room and lay face-down on the bed, unable to move. Rather than feeling relief at having escaped the axe, I was exhausted and numb. I'm not the only one. Fatigue, apathy and hopelessness are all textbook signs of burnout, a bleak phenomenon that has come to define many of our working lives. In 2025, a report from Moodle found that 66% of US workers had experienced some kind of burnout, while a Mental Health UK survey found that one in three adults came under high levels of pressure or stress in the previous year. Despite the prevalence of burnout, plenty of misconceptions around it persist. "Everybody thinks it's some sort of disease or medical condition," says Christina Maslach, the psychology professor who was the first to study the syndrome in the 1970s. "But it's actually a response to chronic job stressors - a stress response." Here we separate the facts from the myths.

It's possible this is a platonic relationship, but your concerns are valid and your husband isn't providing any reassurance

My husband and I are in our 60s. We have been married for 40 years, some of it happily, some not so much. Our children are grown up and gone, and we have recently retired. Some of our tensions over the years have been around my husband's tendency to be undermining and belittling. He claims not to understand why I might find certain things upsetting, yet refuses to engage with couples counselling (apparently I would tell lies). We have muddled through and mostly get on well now, though he dislikes most of my friends and siblings, and won't socialise with them. To be fair, he is self-contained and doesn't seem to need friends in the way I do - he has one friend.

A few months ago, an ex-colleague got in touch with my husband and asked to meet for coffee. They met, had a long lunch, and my husband mentioned a few weeks later that they were arranging to meet again as he had enjoyed the catchup. I was a bit thrown. I found it odd that she couldn't confide in her partner or friends, but my husband exploded and we had one of our worst, most vicious arguments in years. He accused me of not wanting him to have friends (the opposite is true) and threw up the fact that I have platonic male friends; true, but my male friends and I go back 30-plus years and we don't meet one-to-one. This just feels a bit out of character and potentially inappropriate.

The Guardian's sex advice column is coming to an end after 20 years. Here are some of the most memorable questions and answers
• Pamela Stephenson Connolly on two decades of solving readers' sex problems

My wonderful new wife is everything I have always looked for in a woman. The issue is that she is openly and proudly bisexual. When we first became involved, she even joked that she didn't want me getting mad when it was time for her to visit her friend on girls' trips. A threesome with a bisexual woman has always been my fantasy. She even gave me permission to go online and find a "unicorn" for us. But when I set up a meeting, she didn't seem to want to follow through with it, so I stopped looking. Recently, on holiday, she made a sexual comment about a girl in a bikini, so I again brought up the idea of a threesome. But she said she might have grown out of that phase of her life and just wants to be with me. She also said that adding another person would ruin the marriage, and I worry that things might change between us if we get together with another girl. I am at a loss as to what to do. If she is truly bisexual, I am worried that if those desires are not met, she may pursue them without me. My only rule is that if she is with a girl, I am also present. Most guys would love my situation - am I making this harder than it is?

Its 'fibre checker' tool confirmed I could have a connection, but a month later it changed its mind

My internet provider informed me by email that full fibre broadband had become available for my property, confirmed by Openreach's "fibre checker" tool.

After a month, Openreach declared the connection uneconomical due to blockages in the conduits below the road.

It can feel overwhelming, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. But ask yourself what sacrifices make the biggest proportionate impact

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I'm finding it difficult living up to my morals - where is the line between compromising a little, versus becoming complicit in what I don't agree with?

I'm one of those people who believes we can each take a role in solving big problems, and that we should try to make things better where we can. For this reason, I've ended up working in public service and try to reduce how much meat I eat. I'm vegetarian 60% of the time, which is not perfect, but I believe doing something is better than doing nothing.

They offer independence, reduce emissions and congestion. But they are also endangering lives

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After the Sydney Harbour Bridge was swarmed by 40 or so ebikes and e-motorcycles on Wednesday, the Australian government said the country faced a "real emergency".

"[Illegal ebikes] are a total menace on the road," the health minister, Mark Butler, said on Friday.

Experts say souped-up e-bikes pose big risk for children aged from 12 to 15, who account for many A&E cases

On a busy lunchtime, thick-tyred electric bikes zoom through the leafy lanes of the Vondelpark in Amsterdam. But after a marked rise in accidents - particularly involving children - these vehicles the Dutch call "fatbikes" are to be banned in some parts of the Netherlands.

"It's nonsense!" said Henk Hendrik Wolthers, 69, from the saddle of his wide-tyred, electric Mate bike. "I drive a car, I ride a motorbike, I've had a moped and now I ride a fatbike. This is the quickest means of transport in the city and you should be able to use it."

In 2021, Harold Price, now 82, broke a vertebra while on a motorbike, leaving him barely able to use his legs. Then a chance recommendation changed his life

• 'It took time to love my soft, larger shape': the body-positive writer who recovered from an eating disorder

Before the accident, Harold Price, 82, loved being on two wheels. A retired engineer from Griffithstown in Wales, he cycled about 95 miles a week on his road bike. "Not bad for 78," he says. On other days he'd be out on one of his restored motorbikes, as he was in June 2021, with a friend. They were riding at 10 miles an hour on a narrow road when his friend pulled out in front of him. "I had nowhere to go," Price says. He remembers his head snapping back into his helmet before he blacked out.

Price spent months in hospital. He had broken the fifth vertebra in his neck, resulting in compression of his spinal cord. He was told he wouldn't walk again. "That was a bit of a downer, obviously," he says. He was determined to prove the doctors wrong. "My mind told me I could get up and walk out. But when I tried, I collapsed."

Our fitness expert clocked up his indoor miles to put the best exercise bikes, including simple spin machines and gym-quality models, to the test

• The best treadmills for your home, tested

Cycling has the potential to benefit your health in myriad ways, whether it's the mood-boosting properties of inhaling fresh air, the social element of riding with friends or the simple act of improving cardiovascular fitness with every pedal stroke.

The UK weather doesn't always play ball, though, so for those who don't want a dire forecast to result in a missed workout, indoor training replicates the exercise (if not the fresh air).

Best exercise bike overall:
Peloton Bike+

Best budget exercise bike for beginners:
Horizon 3.0SC indoor cycle

Figuring out how to diagnose and fix a problem myself generated a sense of satisfaction powerful enough to get me up a medium-sized hill

It wasn't until Covid lockdowns that I became a regular bike rider, but it has become one of the joys of my life. Nothing melts away a stressful day like whizzing down a hill; not having to think about petrol prices, one-way streets or parking spots does wonders for my mood.

When it came to maintenance, though, my attitude was decidedly timid. If something worked, that was good enough for me - how it did so was simply none of my business. Strange noises and glitches were things I figured would either go away on their own or deteriorate into something I'd hand off to an expert. I'm not proud to admit I've walked my bike half an hour to a bike shop to fix a puncture more than once; my chain was perpetually caked in gunk because I thought even looking at it the wrong way might break something.

With no plans, I set off from John O'Groats to travel down south to Dover. Friends and family didn't think I'd last a mile

Since coming to England from Ethiopia eight years ago, I've lost parts of my cultural identity. I was stuck in a monotonous, isolated routine studying for a biochemistry degree at Imperial College London, without the family-centred lifestyle I was used to. Back in Ethiopia, I'd be surrounded by my aunt, grandparents, friends.

So this year, I took 12 months out and moved to my uncle's house in Leeds. The change helped me try new things, like cycling: as a child, I had never ridden a bike. I bought one in a charity shop. My friends told me that it was made for a 10-year-old and donated an adult-sized bike to me.

Emulating the bike-friendly highways enjoyed by our continental neighbours will take a lot more money and political will

Ever since Team GB's velodrome successes at the 2008 Olympics, campaigners and government ministers have confidently predicted that Britain is about to become a nation of cyclists. There is just one problem: for the most part, it has not happened.

Apart from a very concentrated spike in bike use during Covid, the level of cycle trips in England has stayed broadly static for years, and things do not appear to be changing.

Wondering what to get the nature lover in your life? Our outdoor enthusiast curates the must-haves: Loop earplugs, Yeti Rambler and more

• The 163 best holiday gift ideas for 2025, vetted by the Guardian US staff

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Whether you know someone who camps every weekend or just enjoys morning coffee outside, you already know: outdoorsy people can be particular about their gear. They want to stay both comfortable and safe in the elements - a reliable water bottle means no spills in the pack and a good headlamp keeps them on the trail and not in a ravine.

Outdoor gear can be intimidating and expensive, but I've pulled together a list of affordable yet reliable things that I've personally used as an outdoors lover. (I have also gifted many of these to family members who now use them often.) These are things I've dragged through mud, shoved into carry-ons and relied on when the weather turned. Whether your person camps, hikes, fishes or bikes, here are durable and practical gifts that make being outside easier and more fun.

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Ridiculously picturesque, with award-winning eateries and bars, the New Zealand South Island towns have more to offer than just adventure sports, restaurateur Penelope Johnson says

I've lived in Arrowtown/Kā-muriwai for 13 years. It's beautifully preserved - like walking on to a film set in the gold mining days, but with Queenstown international airport at our doorstep.

Arrowtown is slower than Queenstown/Tāhuna. It's 20 minutes away and there's a real desire to keep that slow pace, though we welcome New Zealand/Aotearoa tourists as much as international guests.

Biggest improvements seen in young adults and new mothers, with group activities of most benefit

Aerobic exercise such as running, swimming or dancing can be considered a frontline treatment for mild depression and anxiety, according to research that suggests working out with others brings the most benefits.

Scientists analysed published reviews on exercise and mental health and found that some of the greatest improvements were observed in young adults and new mothers - groups that are considered particularly vulnerable to mental health problems.

Providers report rise in demand as companies seek mental health benefits and increased sense of community

In a growing number of workplaces, the soundtrack of the lunch break is no longer the rustle of sandwiches at a desk, but the quiet hum of bees - housed just outside the office window.

Employers from Manchester to Milton Keynes are working with professional beekeepers to install hives on rooftops, in courtyards and car parks - positioning beekeeping not as a novelty but as a way to ease stress, build community and reconnect workers with nature in an era of hybrid work and burnout.

UPFs are made to encourage addiction and consumption and should be regulated like tobacco, say researchers

Ultra-processed foods (UPFs) have more in common with cigarettes than with fruit or vegetables, and require far tighter regulation, according to a new report.

UPFs and cigarettes are engineered to encourage addiction and consumption, researchers from three US universities said, pointing to the parallels in widespread health harms that link both.

The structure of wrists mean we have the capacity to do both handstands and neurosurgery. A lot can go wrong

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It's a bad time of year for wrists. Parents - and sometimes grandparents - full of enthusiasm and holiday cheer hop on their child's new scooter or bike, keen to show said child how great the new toy is, and forget that gravity isn't as kind to the body when we're older. Falls happen, and wrists often take the brunt.

"It's got its own name: 'fall on an outstretched hand'," says Brigette Evans, an occupational therapist at Bathurst Hand Therapy. As we fall, our instinct is to put our arms out in front of us to protect our body, face and head, and the wrist takes a lot of that force.